Off to Iraq

I have been exchanging e-mails for the past couple of days with the mom of a guy I went to Jr. High and High School with. OK let's be honest here. He was the guy I had a crush on all through Jr. High and High School. We had some unofficial romantic involvement, but were never publicly together. I know now that was probably because my dad was a teacher in our high school. We remained friends until I moved away our last year of high school, and as people often do, we lost touch for a long time.

A couple of years ago we started e-mailing each other every now and then. I was surprised to learn that he had become kind of a big deal in an insurance company. Not surprised that he was doing well - because he had that kind of drive - but that he picked that industry. We talked about my divorce and his upcoming remarriage, etc. Like these things do, we kind of drifted away again and I haven't had an e-mail from him in a few months. He mentioned that was going to have to report soon and eventually be deployed to Iraq. Since I hadn't heard from him I assumed he was already over there. Another friend and I got curious about where he was and sent a message to his mom.

He's my age (39 or 40) and has been in the National Guard since he got out of high school. I know that the Guard is something he's taken great pride in, and I'm sure that he's very good at what he does. His mom just e-mailed to tell me that he just left last night for Iraq. To tell the truth I don't know how to feel about that. Part of me is very proud that he chose to serve our country and has continued serving all this time. Part of me is angry that he didn't leave this stuff to the younger guys. (He has a bad leg from an old football injury when we were in H.S.)
I have prayed for his safety, and for his new wife and baby son (a son! He who told me he did not want kids. Funny what a new wife can do) and I know that whatever happens to him now is in God's hands.

It's kind of a strange circle, really. My oldest daughter (nearly 18) has a guy friend (so NOT a boyfriend, mom.! That would be weird!) who just returned from a tour in Iraq of more than a year. He's 19 years old, a good responsible, levelheaded nice kid, with just enough orneriness in him to make him good company. My girl spent the entire time he was gone wearing a set of dogtags her dad had made for her years ago. She wouldn't take them off to shower or sleep until he got home. Many a night I went to tell her good night and she was sitting in bed looking worried. I told her to pray for her friend and leave the rest to God. She said she did, but she still looked worried. When we heard bad news from over there we talked about it. Thank the Lord for e-mail! She was able to know within a day or two if he was o.k. or not. I can't imagine what it must have been like back when you had to wait days or weeks for a letter from overseas.

Anyway, I think now I know how she felt, at least a little. My friend and I are no longer as close as she and her friend are, but at one time we were. I try not to think of what could happen to him over there, but I know that he is going into danger. I will follow my own advice and pray and trust, but it is a hard thing. If it's so hard for me at 40, what must it have been like for my girl? All I know is that she has relaxed a lot since her friend made it home o.k.

I've studied wars and the people in them for most of my life. I have always had great respect for those who fought and those who stayed behind, and I still do. Regardless of how we feel about this conflict, the men and women on the front lines deserve our respect and support, as well as our fervent prayers. I've been blessed in that I've never had to watch any of my family board a bus or a plane to fly off to peril. But I've seen what Vietnam did to my uncle, and I've heard from my grandpa how it tore him apart to know that his son could die at any moment. I've listened to Grandpa's stories of frustration about being declared 4F during World War II, due to a heart murmur which was barely detectable and has never given him any trouble. He's 85 now, and still bitter that he missed the defining events of his generation. I'm sure that like George Bailey he fought the battle of the home front. But to him it feels like he didn't do enough. I guess he figures if he was healthy enough for bronc busting on a Montana Ranch, he was healthy enough to fight Hitler. 60+ years later and he's still mad!

Anyway, I guess I'll just keep praying. Rod, I know you won't see this but may God hold you in his hands while you are away. Come home safe, and we'll talk again.